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After ditching work to go on a bender, Jon and the crew claim black Satanists stole the van threw acid on Jons face. Though Jons missing van garners sympathy and support from the van loving community as well as taking his fame to new heights, things get complicated when real black Satanists begin to target Jon. Also includes "Consensual," in which Jon attempts to find in various relationships are consensual, and Jon Benjamins new 911, in which people call Jon so he can call 911 for them.